Poem: * "My bones in the road" by Steven Benjamin 'Thousands of years of rolling and crashing, smoothed the stones', I heard him say. Buildings still abound, much older than I will ever be. When did I gain this voice When did it fade Young we are to the elements, and will always be Blooming flowers to nature we are, and will always be, and then gone What is this effort? To catch my voice in a jar? I hum, clear my throat, and when my lips part, sounds come out, a head inclines and then I turn the page and see some figures on that paper, lines that came from me. I held a pen and moved it. Rearranged some letters, with fingers and breath, whispers and tones. My heart beats; I know. My red blood I’ve seen, and my veins. Shared some space I did, and thought some thoughts, and then quietened my mind. Beating is my heart, and not much more is happening. . . Hushed Until another hour, when again the voice quakes, and a sound, as inspiration steers. the blood pumps on, ink shall be laid, lips to be parted Bones shall move and a faint echo will let loose in this, our dying maze of time. Let the bones of my ribs rise and fall a cage, the jar for my voice holding it like a gloved claw, keeping some air in, until it slips out, and is no more. Just long enough for that breath that it holds, that small voice within that cage, to nudge the blood, to itch the muscle, to crinkle the flesh, to move the fingers. Just long enough for the echo to spill and dent the page and fill the dents with ink. Just long enough it holds, until it is no more. Good intentions are all I am, and all we are, then let the road be paved with me, that narrow path Home to us all that road will be, in the maze of time. And that road - where shall it lead? until time closes, lost, to the red place but for the tether a pinch from that place without time to make the way straight to make the bones move, and that which placed within those bones that air, that breath, that voice it speaks, it moves, it saves and makes the bones live again without time, this time * [Image credit: photo by Frank Robert --- Video credit: Music by Max Richter ( From the Art of Mirrors) Filmed, directed and produced by Montserrat Rubio Sound effects by Romain Olivieri]
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295 - Terrorist attacks worldwide thus far for 2015, averaging 27 per month… however November alone currently stands at 33 so far, and with the Paris attacks inspiring the trending hashtag “#PrayforParis”, I take it many people are wondering (yet again, as it is with most atrocities or disasters throughout history) where was God during this time, or why did it happen, or the greater question of ‘why is there evil in the world’? It sets off another flurry of questions: If God created everything, then did he create evil, and thus, doesn’t that make God evil…? A political satire show jokingly presented an overlapping issue by belittling a politician’s belief in God, along the lines of “he believing that the world is around 6000 years old, and he believing in a God that is powerful enough to create the universe in 6 days but not powerful enough to NOT make paedophiles”. Many sceptics hearing these sorts of comments on an otherwise mainstream news show would gleefully laugh at said man with his seemingly, by modern standards, conservative beliefs, the insinuation being: how can we (citizens) allow such a man with such (ridiculous) beliefs to govern a state or country. The bigotry here is pretty palpable and intentional. What so often frustrates me, is when intelligent people fail to really think. This ultimately comes down to choice, and what we choose to believe based on the evidence at hand. As we know, good lawyers are very capable of getting guilty men off the hook, and it happens more often than we care to admit. The evidence for or against God’s existence is the same for all. To myself, the evidence is overwhelmingly convincing (For), but I acknowledge that there is just enough of an element of doubt to fuel the ‘un-believer’. As to why this doubt exists, well I encourage you to read another article I wrote exploring this very issue. [Why do you need faith to believe in God?] I must also add that much of the bias against God is fueled by man’s own ignorance and pride, and that other thing listed among the notorious 7 deadly sins, that of ‘Sloth’ (or laziness/apathy/indifference). Many are content to live without truly knowing, because to know or to seek to know would mean disturbing their status quo. It means (via their misguided perception) perhaps living a devout life of celibacy and going to church every Sunday and helping thy neighbor, and generally being accountable, and gasp, reading the Bible - that outdated and thick book of many tiny words written in some ancient languages that’s mostly confusing and filled with parables… and who knows what to take literally and what not, and how is something that apparently contravenes modern scientific theory going to help me today? Not to mention all the “fairytales” with talking animals and bushes… So, instead of going through all that hullabaloo, why not skip it and just go on with my life, “as you were” minding my own business, and being generally (by the world’s standards) a good and law abiding citizen, because if being a good person isn’t good enough for whatever god may or may not exist, then maybe he/she isn’t a god worth knowing. The issue arises: Are you earnestly seeking the truth? If not, then don’t bother continuing with this read. *** If you are, then you must face a very real truth: that if God exists, then he most likely does not conform to our rules or the standards you or I set – we, being the creation, and God, the Creator. So when we say that being a good person should be good enough for God for us to get into heaven or paradise or whatever, we are doing 2 things here:
So that means that we have to relinquish power or concede that we do not (and will never) know everything. At the heart of this, is submission… to submit to a greater power than ourselves, an entity that knows better than we do and that has the ability to, and has, outlined a particular way in which we should live our lives… But we don’t want to be told how to live our lives. This is essentially crux of the matter, like a rebellious teenager not wanting a parent to interfere and tell them what to do… so we choose our own way, and in a world where we’re free to exercise our own free will, evil will exist.
There are many more issues and questions that this raises, but essentially, we need to confront or entertain the issue of ourselves and our relation toward (a potential) God. Once we accept the simple dynamics of this relationship, then the state of play is made more apparent, and the consequences we live with are put into a little more context… this is also when the answers become more complicated and even messy, and we must first be prepared for answers we don't like, or are uncomfortable, before we even earnestly ask the hard questions. “My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?” [Image credits: unless otherwise stated - tumblr.com, warphotographer.org, Facebook.] ******* The Fall of man - 'Moving in the darkness' - Poem by Steven Benjamin The darkness covers us all the same
Rich and poor Strong and weak Good and evil. All existing in this same place Distant Removed. living and dying, we share it all, until One Or a few of us, reaches out to where we came from Before we walked Before we breathed Before we saw, and heard, and tasted and felt This world. To act here, in this place of darkness and absence exiled We exist and are forever lost. Until a heart reaches for the light. The light to illuminate our life, our path, our flaws. But we are still painted by the same brush, Moving in the darkness The same abandon that many love to bathe in, That some question, Searching the dim depths, for tenor, to whisper faint philosophy Reasoning in anonymity, As this shade, hides our actions, bolstering confidence, Justifying ignorance, for the lesser mind. All of it, echoes in obscurity. Without the gift of light - to shine on us, until then, once ignited, to shine from within – without this light what are we? shadows, playing, pretending on the dark stage, until the absent curtain falls, ... and time swallows the memory of us. It is the light that colors us, illuminating purpose and path. But in the darkness, all meaning is forsaken. Light needs only light to be… for darkness is merely the absence of it. For we only know what darkness is, because of light. We know the light, we recognize it, the form of our shadows, A hint, We recognize it because we came from it, We were made to reflect it. Once, In a distant memory, half forgotten, a remnant in us, of a garden and a past, swept away. We came from it. Before we learned what darkness was. Before we fell, Before we walked, Before we breathed Before we were born… Once there was a time when it breathed in us, there was a time when we were painted with light. ***** A night in Gabarone about a year ago As my now good friend Jonathan pointed out, the lighting was all wrong… it lacked that certain moody ambiance reserved for romantic occasions – despite this not being a romantic occasion. You see, sometimes you just need that option, a certain warmth or glow, even if it’s just “available”. But again, we weren’t here to embrace any quixotic inclinations, despite the unmistakeable buzz of imminent wedding celebrations dancing in the evening air… but still, even the décor was wrong – note to the wise: don’t use dark wood with a light floor tile; it elicits a rather cold black and white tone. Nevertheless, there we sat supporting of a friend of ours who just so happened to be the in-house/restaurant entertainment. The night was decidedly nippy in Gaborone, conveniently inspiring a variety of impulses involving tapping your feet to the beat, patting of the knee and bobbing of the head, even if just to stay warm. Yeah, it was that kind of night, when dancing was also convenient. We knew the music would be good, the food; well, considering we were only there for dessert the margin for error seemed reduced; add a cappuccino and you start to slip into the flow of things pretty easily. Now it must be said that I am known in some circles as a lover of coffee, and was once called a connoisseur of ice cream, so when you tick those two boxes on the menu and throw in some good company; well let’s just say it’s really hard to go wrong from there. But that’s all relative. You see, it’s easy to allow the inconveniences to get the better of you, whether it’s the dust, the heat – which actually wasn’t that bad this time around, generally speaking, I’m really liking this autumn thing – or the flat spider (of unknown species) which scurried across the floor when I dropped my bags in the room where I’d be sleeping… these are just things. Okay I’ll admit, the spider took some getting used to, but I’ve seen worse, waaay worse. You see, when it comes to Africa (more specifically rural Africa), you’ll see things – good and bad (the "bad" aids in heightening the good)– that may send tremors down to your core, forcing a re-evaluation of the way you partake in this thing called life. Everyone needs this kind of meaningful ‘intervention’ every now and then. As another new friend, Lily, jokingly put it whilst in her pyjamas, listening to some sound advice “Hang on, I’m listening… this is a life moment here…” – I don’t feel like explaining the context right now. So what does this have to do with listening to good music and dancing in your chair and laughing with friends and family? Well, “life moments” happens all the time, and often, when we’re not paying attention. I know what you’re thinking. It’s natural; there will be so many moments of subtle splendour to make a fuss over, so if you miss one, you’re probably not missing much, right? Truth is, as I embark on another journey (this one through the pages of a book – something which I haven’t done in a while, I am ashamed to say that), a lesson I’ve just learned again, yes again, is that when you glance back over your life, you only really remember certain highlights, never the whole picture – that’s just the way it is… so it behooves us to make even the simplest moments count, and count again, so that in our flashes of reflection our life’s tapestry, in and amongst the boring bits, the brighter strands will leap out even more. By the way - this month my blog turned 2 years old. Thanks for visiting and your continued support! Let’s look at this book – for that is what it is, a book. What separates it from all others though, is that it unashamedly claims to be the Word of God. That is, a message, or messages from the one who created everything in the Universe has found its way to its pages… this ‘claim’ alone, whether you believe it or not, is one of the central reasons why it is the world’s bestselling book, and has been for generations. Plot Synopsis The Story starts with all creation and the creation of Man, and then after that, God created Woman. It then progresses to the fall of man (with the intervention of Satan and the realization of Good and Evil), who chooses himself over his creator, severing that bond and welcoming sin, and death, into the world. His descendants then strive to rule the world and each other. But the story continues, focusing on an array of people and their unique walk/lives and relationship with God. God though (the creator of it all), is angered by his creation’s choice of disobedience, and the subsequent slavery to sin and death. Despite that, God still loves the world, so much so he sends his only son. The plan is to reunite his people to himself and break the bondage that sin has over his people. Enter Jesus (A coming which was prophesized). The son of God would then be beaten, tortured and crucified, killed… a man, who was without sin, who was pure, would carry the weight of sin on himself. An ordinary man, who was born in Heaven, would form the crux of existence, as his death and subsequent resurrection would break the hold that sin has over this world, forming a spiritual gateway to reunite Man with his creator. Target You. It’s for every man, woman and child walking this earth. Another reason it’s a bestseller – because it has such wide appeal. Bottom Line “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son…” – you’ve heard that line countless times that it’s almost become a religious cliché. What’s really at the centre of it though, is the coming together of two different worlds – a material one, and a spiritual one. In the Beginning (another cliché) these two worlds were very close (God and Man had open conversations, the world was a beautiful Eden), but then came the fall, and the separation. Ever since, God has tried to find a way back for us, as we in turn have tried to find the answers to the existential questions we have about ourselves. As the bible says, Man was never intended to have to deal with death, sin was never part of creation, women were never meant to experience pain in childbirth… every pain we endure is thus simply echoes of the pain felt in that fateful moment when man disobeyed God (*** The First physical wound experienced in the Bible is by Adam, when God removes his rib to form Eve - yet there's no record of pain being felt, and the healing was instantaneous - because God did the healing himself***). Hence the two worlds have separated – the material world held ransom to sin and slavery (ruled by Satan), and God’s quest to free Man… and aid him in the realization that he is not of this world, to reawaken his spiritual existence. In a stunning move (call it the checkmate move) God sacrificed his only beloved son. (when Jesus is hanging on the cross he screams “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” – this marks the first time the son addresses his father as ‘God’, indicative of the separation. God turned his back on his son for that moment, so that we (mankind) may be reconciled with our spiritual father). But Satan has no hold over Jesus (heaven’s own), and a material death of his fleshly body does not (cannot) hold. As a book, this is a fantastic story, when you think of it in a finite sense, with authors and writers that compose stories, books, bestsellers etc.one has to wonder, who could conceive this story, who came up with such a work, with such daring portrayals and claims. Well, it wasn’t one man or woman, it was many (over 40 authors – there were incomplete gospels that weren’t included, as well as number of anonymous authors), and it was written and compiled over a period of over 1500 years. It truly is a special book – I almost said ‘one of a kind’ but then my thoughts turned to the Torah (focussing on the narrative of the Jewish people) and Quran (the central religious text of Islam and greatest piece of literature in the Arabic language) … the fact that these three books/manuscripts/compilations are so similar is a staggering thought. Are they plagiarized – copies of one another just taken with different meanings and interpretations, and emphasis on different events? What’s certain is that they have far more similarities than differences. (The one glaring difference is the regard or emphasis placed on the life of Jesus – he is central to the Bible, but a bit-part player, almost cameo in the other two by comparison). But back to the Bible (which doesn’t have one spelling error in any copy I’ve seen) – since I don’t speak Hebrew/Aramaic or Arabic unfortunately – it must be said that it warrants a read simply because of the questions it poses of oneself (whether you’re willing to accept the answers it offers, is up to you.) The fact that it can be used as a daily devotional guide and life study book is also indicative of its influence and power – and it’s hard to argue against the fact that this book has power – even if its just in a material sense. (My grandmother, a woman well into her 80’s still faithfully attends weekly Bible study – this just exemplifies the fact that it has a lasting impression and that it does offer practically an unending fount of deep information. One could study this book your entire life, read it multiple times, and still find new meaning in it, daily – in fact, some say that performing this act will lead you to a better life, by applying something simple like the 10 Commandments to your life, and meditating on scripture. These practices have proven to have a profound effect on the individual and those around them. Truth be told it’s hard to write a book review on the bible because it is so vast and even prophesizes/predicts events yet to come (and lets not forget to mention that this book has proven quite reliable in that approximately 80% of the prophesies foretold in the Bible, have been fulfilled - to the letter - whilst the remaining prophesies reach further into our future!), but for an individual, if you’ve read this book, whether from beginning to end, or just jumping in in the middle somewhere (another unique feature), it might benefit you to review what you’ve read, as you would any other book. There are of course boring bits – this book does of course cover life, and the lives of many people, even some mundane bits, but that’s also part of the beauty, because it translates to everyone, to everyday life. In the Bible you’ll find beggars, Kings, prostitutes, fishermen, taxmen, farmers, murderers, doctors, philosophers, Angels, talking animals, carpenters, scholars, prophets, Demons, soldiers… people from every walk of life… many people, many generations, the creation of the world, and even a message of unconditional and undeserving Love. So, whether you believe that all these people were indeed onto something or that it’s just a collection of wild, outrageous and sometimes brutal stories collected and compiled over centuries (who or what drove so many people to write about this with such conviction, to be translated into so many languages and in varying versions et al.), you cannot deny it truly is fully worth its status as the world’s bestselling book, and why it's often referred to as the “Holy Bible” – the only book in the world claiming to be the actual ‘Word of God’. This is not a book about religion, its a book about reclaiming and restoring a lost Love; sacrificing everything and going to war for your true love. It may not look it, but war and love are on two sides of the same coin in this book, as they are in most books. Its a fight, a war for your heart... the message is, God wants you back, in his embrace. Humanity is often referred to as the 'bride of Christ', destined to join him in heaven; so the story effectively is about a man who sacrifices himself (appears as payment/exchange/ransom) to set free his captive, yet unfaithful love from the shackles of death. (There is no conceivable rating for such a book – it kind sets the standard) Question: if it indeed be true, if this is in fact the Word of God... what then, at the very least it should not be ignored. And, if this book is a work of fiction, then it is a fantastic piece, but since all art (since fiction is art) imitates life, what does this book say about reality? Mark Twain (notable fiction writer/author) said Truth is stranger than fiction, well for those who believe this to be a work of fiction... then I shudder to think of what truth lay as seed of inspiration for this work. Either way, plenty of food for many a deep thought! This is an official announcement that my book (formerly known as 'The Quiet Days') has since been renamed "Peacekeeper". It took me a while to make the decision, but slowly the new one won me over. I've also decided to name the sequel The Quiet Days, it feels only right that I do, whilst a possible prequel will be named 'The Dark Days'. There is a deeper relevance to these names of course and not just a morbid fascination with "Days", or the days of our lives Lol. For a brief Synopsis, keep reading... (its still the same book, albeit on the cusp of the 4th draft with some back end rewrites.) 'Peacekeeper' blurb: There are always so many questions; some remaining forever unanswered, and those with answers few are willing to face. For Michael, that’s hardly the beginning. In Israel investigating a terrorist threat, during a ceasefire after Operation Cast Lead on Gaza and the West Bank, he faces the questions that most are afraid of. An experienced former soldier, now trained in the art of conflict resolution, he discovers his true place, once again learning the art of survival, even when there’s no escaping a bullet. On borrowed time, in the shadow of Interpol and the UN, through blood and dirt, his greatest enemy in the fight to maintain peace, remains the man in the mirror, taunting him with that one fateful question: how much difference can one good man really make? "For whose cause, if not your own, are you willing to die?" Peacekeeper poem: (this appears at the very beginning of the book, it's also the one and only poem I've written in some years, and I continue to tinker with it...) … a faint whisper stirs, within, growing, piercing the inner walls; Another I, revealing …the fear, of the quiet days, the dark days when I’m dead but still living. My spent blood runs slow, my trembling hands, my frozen eyes in these cold, peaceful times. That fear of the slight of me . . . the far away man in the mirror, dark of the deep of the still waters in those eyes . . . my quiet days, creeping, nearer… [I may write a part 2 of this poem that may/will appear at the end of my book...] "You don’t expect to be shot during a ceasefire, or to see a peacekeeper break protocol, but anything goes in the pursuit to maintain the status quo, even if that means sacrificing a good man." - “The reward of sin is death.” That’s hard. If we say that we have no sin, We deceive ourselves, and there’s no truth in us.”... – Doctor Faustus, Goethe’s Faust. - If you like what you see, please feel free to rate it below, but if you have some constructive criticism or words of support then leave your comments - I always appreciate the feedback. Writing is of course a largely solitary profession and even just feeding some breadcrumbs for readers can elicit some angst on my part. I just hope you're as excited as I am, it's going to be big. Many Blessings Ciao Flash Fiction The scene: Standing on the deck of a Ukrainian Navy ship in the Black Sea; two former soldiers discuss the efficacy of their roles in this unending battle. This deleted extract is from my book (The Quiet Days) another casualty of my redraft. I've since rewritten it, changing the conversation entirely... The Quiet Days (by Steven Benjamin) - Chapter 28 extract - Michael’s brow furrowed as he stepped closer to stand beside him, leaning against the steel railings. · “I haven’t been involved in it as long as anyone here so maybe my perspective’s a little warped, but it feels like there can be no winner here, ever. We can always fight the battles but at the end, it falls down to a squabble for a share in whatever’s left. I mean you know the facts. I’m not talking about criminal networks or terrorists or even us, I’m talking about the bigger – the much bigger picture – it’s something that’s always beyond our control.” • Michael was half nodding but still looked sceptical, “I’m not sure I follow…” • “It’s just one big cycle. I was having a conversation with Theo a while back and he was saying how there is no more bad versus good but rather rich versus poor. A common statement I know but I understood his inclination that there are good men on either side of the fence, same goes for the bad men…” he huffed bitterly, “it’s like if we were the cure, or let’s say for arguments sake that we’re part of this massive body, the index finger maybe, and all our white blood cells are fighting one cancer growth in the body. But, what we haven’t realized is that the cancer has taken over the whole body – infected everything everywhere, so in effect we’re not just fighting the cancer but, you could say, we’re fighting the entire body.” • “Because the body has basically become the cancer?” • “Precisely.” • Michael looked off, “So how do we fit in, in terms of this case? Just so I’m clear.” • “We’re just like the white cells fighting, but dependent on our enemies for our own existence. Who pays our wages? Who manufactures and distributes the weapons that are in the hands of the terrorists we chase.” • “Mm. So, seeing as we’re the finger fighting the same body we’re apart of, if we succeed in our battle – we die.” • “In theory: yes. The one cannot live without the other, or at least we cannot live without them. Metaphorically speaking.” • “Of course.” • “But the real issue is that the main culprits of the problems we face today are the ones making all the rules, conducting summits etc… And it’s not like they’re aware of it all the time, I mean it’s made up of people like you and me with consciences of their own. We deal in problems, not solving them, just morphing them from one form to another – an endless cycle.” • “With the obvious question being: will we ever make any considerable headway in our current capacity, or in any capacity for that matter? And further more to use a tried cliché; will we ever – make a difference?” · “Is there any point to it all? Or are we just doing this for self satisfaction. To give us the assurance that we’re the good guys and, even though our efforts don’t make much difference, it sure makes us feel good about ourselves.” Skipp said. **** Theme: The following song is something of a theme for the book. It's Ben Harper's "I will not be broken" - this is not a music video, just the track with a picture of the artist that someone uploaded... |
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